Pimmy Jalmer
by Mrs Don Draper
Summary: Ever wondered what McGee wrote about Palmer in DeepSix? And have you ever wondered what Jimmy's reaction was when he read it? Just my take on what happened before the "Pimmy Jalmer" scene in the episode "Smoked."


Lately it seemed that everyone at NCIS was reading McGee's, or as he was more widely known, Gemcity's new book. It was all that anyone was talking about. When Jimmy walked into autopsy, he even found Ducky thoroughly engrossed in _DeepSix_.

"Am I the only one who hasn't bought a copy of McGee's book?" he asked Ducky while hanging up his jacket.

Ducky turned to face his assistant, slipping a book mark to hold his place. Jimmy could tell he was already about halfway through it.

"Ah, Mr. Palmer! I would have to say that your summation is quite near to the truth. Although I have to warn you that you might not like it."

"And why exactly is that?"

Ducky paused. Should he really tell the lad that the characters were not really characters at all? He had seen how much Gibb's team had been arguing amongst themselves about the book being based on them. No. He wasn't going to be the one to drag the very same drama on his assistant.

"I wouldn't want to give anything away. I'm sure Timothy would be delighted to give you a copy."

Jimmy was suspicious, but didn't press the doctor. It wasn't like him to just stop talking about a subject. What was it about this book had people acting so strange? He decided that he would get his own copy after work and see what all the fuss was about.

*o~*~O~*~o*

"Wait, let me sign it before you go," said McGee, grabbing the copy back from Jimmy.

Tim grabbed his pen and wrote his real name with a flourish and handed it back to him.

"To my friend in autopsy?" read Jimmy to himself.

Aloud he gave his thanks and walked off to the elevator, reading the back of the book to get the gist of it:

_The year is 2006. L.J. Tibbs is rebellious by nature and scarred by childhood tragedy in the southern community of Specter. An outcast in his own world, he drinks to alleviate the burden of his Messianic complex._

The aftermath of one of his hair-raising investigations finds L.J. Tibbs right in the middle of an unspeakable crime that cost a young woman her life. Tibbs finds himself trapped in the underworld of a local crime syndicate which has a need to administer a terrifying revenge on the family members of a rival family.

But the revenge they seek is a two-edged sword, and the price is Tibbs' own sanity as he recklessly pursues his quarry in a chilling, double-twist climax that surpasses anything Gemcity has written before.

This rather exciting-sounding summary was followed by a disclaimer:

_This is a work of pure fiction. Any persons or places that resemble anyone or any place is purely a coincidence. _

Jimmy chuckled to himself. Gibbs didn't believe in coincidences. He wondered if the team leader had noticed that as well.

*o~*~O~*~o*

The more Jimmy read of McGee's book, the more he noticed similarities. Special Agent Tommy? Mossad officer Lisa? L. J. Tibbs? Could McGee have been any more obvious? But as false as his disclaimer turned out to be, he still enjoyed the book. He went through each character's mind, trying to decipher the killer's motive. Jimmy was also deeply moved by the young woman who perished, leaving Tibbs and Tommy to comfort the widow and her children.

The body of the beautiful-sounding woman was brought to autopsy where Goth forensic scientist "Amy Sutton" preformed tests on tissue samples and the ballistics on the slug that killed her. The autopsy was done by Doctor Drake Goose and his assistant Pimmy Jalmer.

"Alright!" cheered Jimmy. "I'm actually in his book!"

He was pleased to see that McGee had done pretty well in describing the autopsy of Helene Brayburn. With a few minor errors in the tenses of the terminology he used. It wasn't until he reached page 136 that he started to worry about the direction of the book:

_After a long day working in autopsy with Dr. Goose, Pimmy longed for a hot cup of cocoa before getting some much needed rest. He put the kettle on and turned on his T.V. as he waited for the pot to boil. He was delighted to discover that one of his favorite episodes of Office was on. He snuggled into the couch cushions, closing his eyes and listening to the actors slight each other with hilarious barbs. Before he could even realize, he was drifting off to sleep._

_Suddenly, Jalmer was back in autopsy. Helene was back out on the table and he was in his green scrubs again. The room was pitch black expect for an intense white light on Helene's table._

"_Dr. Goose? Are you in here?"_

_His voice echoed throughout the chilly room._

_Jalmer looked back to the steel table. Helene's rich, thick blonde locks were splayed out beneath her head. Her chilled lips still retained their pink pigment. Her ivory skin practically glowed underneath the harsh light. Unable to resist her Snow White beauty, he reached out a hand to touch her. To his surprise, her skin was warm. As warm as if she were still living. _

_An overwhelming sadness washed over him. How could anyone kill such a precious creature? He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. Pimmy could almost believe that she was kissing him back. He pressed on with greater intensity, willing his youth and life into her dead body. _

"What!" yelled Jimmy. "You have got to be kidding me!"

He read on in disgusted fascination.

"_Why couldn't they save you?" Pimmy lamented._

_Thinking that he only need warm her up to revive her lifeless form, he stripped off his clothing and laid atop her. He clenched her shoulders in his hands, mouthing her neck. Pimmy almost enjoyed the way the stitching in her chest raked across his as he began thrusting. He could practically feel her hand reach up to stroke his back._

"I'm going to kill him!"

It finally dawned on him why Ducky had been so reluctant to tell him about his part in Tim's story. This was just sickening.

_It wasn't long before he climaxed with a sobbing grunt. He cried into the victim's neck. He had failed. He couldn't save her either. Why did this have to happen? Pimmy banged on the table in anger._

_He got off the table. He couldn't handle seeing Helene anymore. _

_Pimmy was suddenly awakened by the sound of his kettle going off. The show he had been watching was playing its credits. He felt both distressed and aroused by the dream. He had never had such an intense reaction to a dream before, let alone such a reaction due to a dead woman before._

_He got up to turn off the stove, no longer interested in the sweet beverage he had wanted before. He figured it best to get some sleep since tomorrow would only be as busy, if not busier than today…_

The book obviously continued, but Jimmy was too furious and creeped out to read anymore. When he saw McGee tomorrow…!

*o~*~O~*~o*

As soon as Jimmy saw McGee walk up to him the next day, he knew exactly what Tim was going to ask. Everyone was ticked off about how they were used in the book with out permission and in ways that were either personal, embarrassing, taken totally out of context, or some combination. He adamantly turned down McGee's request for a ride.

"I read your book. And for your information I've never had sexual relations with a corpse!"

McGee immediately began to defend himself.

"That character was not based on you..."

He had the audacity to deny it! There was no _way_ he could come up with a good enough excuse.

"His name was Pimmy Jalmer, McGee!"

He angrily stomped up the stairs to get the gurney for Doctor Mallard. Jimmy couldn't even look at his friends at work without them laughing at him and now he knew why.

"Haven't you ever heard of symbolism?" he hears Tim call up the stairs.

"Symbolism my ass," muttered Jimmy, thinking of how one day someone was going to write something unsavory about him and he would have no right to complain about it.


End file.
